I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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