Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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