Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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