just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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