Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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