Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
