Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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