Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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