My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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