dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
