i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
