my phone cant type all the emotion im having
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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