I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize