she was so not down for the gang bang
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He is an equal opportunity slut.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
