Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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