if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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