Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
