nutella sex= disaster
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
