they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
