I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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