Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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