i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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