Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
