can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
