Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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