it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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