so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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