Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
