How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
