you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Come on in and take your pants off
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