if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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