Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
