I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
