Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
