i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
