And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
