john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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