Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
