he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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