So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
