is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
