i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
