dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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