btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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