He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
