just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
