Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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