are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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