how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
