Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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