so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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