did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
