): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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