Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
