So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
