clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
