Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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