you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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