So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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