it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And then my night got REAL pukey
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
