it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
