I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize