Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
