i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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