I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
