Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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