Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
