Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
