then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
