dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
