Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
