What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
